what's been going on

I haven't posted much lately... lots of health issues and basicly two teen age daughters and single motherhood.... so hard and feel so burned out and worn out..... doc tried me on some new med, didn't work at all.... foggy, off, cry, forgetful, it's not good (depakote er).... good to know it's med induced at least..... got an update on my abusive mother I don't and can't have a relationship with.... tried once as an adult, been almost 20 years since I moved back, and it is what it is and I can't change that.... so here's what is supposedly going on.... according to my aunt, my mom's health is bad.... she's smoked my whole life and now hers, and she won't quit, idk if it's to get attention or my attention, she faked cancer and blamed me when I was a kid.... but she could be.... but it's been 19 years since I moved out, my mom disowned me cuz she is an all or nothing person and abusive..... it may sound weird, but it felt good to know she was alive and well out there tho..... I am giving this one to God!!! have to.... over and over if I HAVE to!!! thanks for letting me vent and all the support!! ♥